Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG - Minneapolis

There shall come... a CRAWLJAMMER

Roll call:

Phil – Tarn the Technomancer
Jon – Senrac the Mutant
Ian – Felina the Cat Person
TIm – Kotha the Thief
Trevor – Magnus the Cleric of Margayne

The adventure begins with Kotha, who has requested a ‘fabulous night ship’ from Sakanta as part of his boon for rescuing the Sun (see: Trials of the Toymakers), confronting an actual floating longship hovering above her in the night sky above Loch Nwar.

The longship Calico has been summoned to the Right Hand World by the bond it shares with the blade Whisker, long in the possession of Kotha the Thief (See : Tower of the Black Pearl). Lowering a rope ladder, the crew invites Kotha to join them where she is welcomed by her new crew: First Mate Falina, the gunner Senrac, the engineer Tarn and Cleric of Margayne, the deposed demigoddess and Queen Imperial of a Thousand Systems. It appears that the Calico is bonded to the rapier and Kotha by right of possessing Whisker, is destined to be the Captain of this ship.

The crew whisks Kotha away (With nary a word of explanation to DJ, Memnoch, et al) to the strange city of Chartless, hidden inside a faraway planet’s moon, nestled in the scales of a gigantic dragon. Here, the crew shows her around Chartless and helps her buy some new weaponry, including a deadly “Hand Cannon”. Shortly thereafter, they speak with Keenan Jithers, a former mercenary company agent (Ugle & Kalute), now working for the rebel faction supporting Margayne. Jithers hires them to explore the newly arrived “Skull Ship” in this sector of space.

Off they go into the furthest reaches of space to find this skullship. Entering this deathtrap, they find it rife with evil creatures and Magnus starts by banishing the elemental Lava Knight laying in wait for them inside the statuary. Then they go into the subsequent rooms and Magnus is trapped by Kadlach, Archon of the Entertainment center, nephew of Ystrick the Bold. It turns out that this strange place is in fact a dungeon that is also a reality show— a contest broadcast to a live audience in the Abyss, howling for blood. Remarkably, Magnus’s lizard-dog Sker actually manages to herd the grenadelings off to the side long enough to not get destroyed.

Magnus barely defeats Kadlach and his Unseen Savants as well as his “Intestinal grenadiers”, while the rest of the party fends off an undead Roper and two Skeletal Giant Kings, but not before Tarn is irrecoverably slain. Senrac the plant mutant then takes the helm of the Skull Ship and shut down the skull-ship’s eyeball attackships and vamplings, making good their escape but not before nabbing 130 gp in gems and the barely touchable Chaos Crown worn by one of the Skeletal Giants. Most notably, they put the ship on a direct course for the sun and make haste away from it.

What’s next for the crew of the Calico? How will they replace their (we assume) beloved engineer? Who will Sker the dog herd next? Will Senrac manage to stay awake in darkness? Tune in next session for more Crawljamming Chaos-Conquering Concepts!!

Magnus- 15
Rest- 10


Intrigue By the Black Lake

Roll call:

Clint – Zobol the halfling and Bizo the Yeti
Ian – Wax the Elf
Memnoch – Trevor the Actor

Session opened with the resolution of Sakanta’s boon for BIzo and Zobol. Zobol asked for Bizo to be smarter + be able to speak; Bizo asked for a bad ass axe like the legendary Frostensnoot. Both wishes were granted! Clint re-rolled Bizo’s intelligence (13!) and Bizo shortly thereafter discovered the legendary Frostensnoot, lodged in a tree-trunk. Seizing the axe, Bizo turned to his companion and said his first word: “TO” or later, what was understood to mean “TWO”— as in the double blade of the axe.

Returning to Loch Nwar, the Hyperbaron was petitioned by the nobleman Everett Salas to vote his seat in the Primary Chamber, particularly on the issue of increasing trade “with the key city of Hoz to the West,” in order to get more gunpowder for the new-fangled powder weapons in Loch Nwar. Memnoch did as requested, after talking to lady Szymandia, who also urged him to do the same, but only after realizing in discussion with Wax and Zobol that Hoz was the tiny town at the base of the mountain to which the golden chain of the heavens was attached— hardly a teeming metropolis, or even a likely place to contain gunpowder (Not to mention that the adventurers saw it mostly depopulated by mad alchemists only a few months back…)

Following Sezrekan’s direction to rid Loch Nwar of other patron worshippers, they hatched a plan to locate and send them to their deaths. Zobol went to a seedy bar on the Eastern outskirts of the right bank and met some pilgrims who had been commanded in dreams to go to the Croaking Fane and join the tadpole transformation of their kind (but they were late).

Meanwhile, Wax met four juvenile ne’er do wells who were apparently occult dilettantes interested in acquiring BIzo for use in ritual slaughter (as well as, perhaps, organ harvesting). Wax declined this offer, but did agree to trade some drugs with them and later visited the island of their patsy, Ykorl, the seventh Ultra-Marquis of Kenderton,

Meanwhile, Bennigan Perkins the halfling arrived and quickly revealed via charm that he was a helpless thrall of a strange hybrid of the Savage Hounds black goo and the Well of the Worm creature… the thing that had been stewing in Zobol’s underground hobbit-hole, hundreds of miles distant. It wanted nothing more than to destroy Zobol apparently.

The heroes sent their charmed myrmidopplegangers out to try to locate the temple of the rival toad faction—those that worshipped the yellow toad Bogbulbiz. This intrigue was successful and shortly thereafter, the three puppetmasters sent the pilgrims and Slurpo to the distant temple to annihilate the cultists and hopefully each other there. Following a few days behind (and fending off an attack by the strange orange-skinned worm-riders known as the Tromii), the party finally arrived to find that the pilgrims and cultists had apparently killed each other off to a man, but only after one party or the other had destroyed Slurpo and Bennigan.

Zobol did find a magical spear, the butt of which carries a toad’s head— it was lodged in the belly of the strange Were-toad that had led the pilgrims.

Meanwhile in Loch Nwar, the myrmidoppelgangers, due to expire from their charm before the heroes returned to the city, had been ordered to spy out the locations of the Arakne and then march into the Croaking Fane, where Memnoch believes that the idol still waits to destroy all those who would enter. The spies this time failed in their intrigue, and apparently followed their orders as they have disappeared entirely by the time the heroes return to Loch Nwar.

Also, Narva the maiden from Schlum, had found a strange coded document in the wall of the Three Lions (inn owned by Memnoch & Publio)— had not been de-coded yet at session’s end.

Also the various mithril plaques from the Toymakers and the platinum plates from Croaking Fane have yet to be converted to currency of any kind— thus the debts on the Hyperbaron’s property are still outstanding.

Funniest moment: Either Zobol the Halfling browebeaten into drinking rubbing alochol cocktails with live tadpoles or the epic “roommate fight” Memnoch and Wax had about why Wax had not enticed the strange dilettantes to die with the cultist cage match.

Awarding only 3 xp for the various encounters (which were easy) but I will award Luck (Destiny) and XP (Cohesion) to the newly formed secret society of the Three Lions which has now joined in the intrigues within Loch Nwar…

The Croaking Fane

Roll call:

Jon – Knut the Beekeeper Badass, Riley the Halfling
Tim – DJ the Dwarf & Kotha the Thief
Ian – Wax the Sunless
Brett – Pembroke the Cleric, Sushgali the Warrior
Trevor – Hyperbaron Memnoch Zemetris the Shibboleth

The adventure started with the adventurers returning from the village of Zemetris where they had rescued the Sun and given their boon requests to the god Sakanta. Along the way back to Loch Nwar, they encountered the strange cleric Pembroke, servant of the mysterious Amun Tur and his henchman Sushgali. Returning to the Hyperbaron’s estate, they found some strange minstrel performers waiting for them, camped outside the estate. When Wax cast sleep on them, they reverted to their true form— the legendary and dreaded MYRMIDOPPLEGANGERS, ant-headed facelesss creatures. WIth the aid of multiple charm spells and the Hyperbaron’s dungeon, they have converted the Myrmd’s to their cause and plan to use them to infiltrate the other patron-cults in Loch Nwar.

Shortly thereafter, they were visited by two strange squatly built, sweaty representatives of the Salientian Knot, who started to offer Memnoch & co. a deal to find the Croaking Fane and put down their toadlike rivals. Before they could even discuss negotiations, a giant foot tore through Memnoch’s estate and crushed them into pulp— this auspicious entrance heralding the appearance of Sezrekan who ordered Memnoch to find the Croaking Fane and destroy the cultists therein in order to promote his patronage in Loch Nwar. Memnoch took up the challenge and was promised a long-desired bonus spell if he fulfilled his mission.

They journeyed to the Croaking Fane and entered the strangely quiet temple. Investigating the first level carefully, they avoided most of the pitfalls that amateurish adventurers would fall prey to (good job guys!)

Notable kudos:

  • Brent for guessing the name of the “Toad-goyles” before they even
  • DJ for putting his pole in the fountain
  • Memnoch for using knock to disable the toad alms statue.
    Ian for avoiding the slime monster in one of the transepts altogether.
    Memnoch cast Rope Mastery yet again, destroying untold thousands with the Spell Killer result and also the Dimensional Schism, Summoning extra-dimensional versions of himself as mirror images, including Mech-Shibboleth, Female Memnoch (servant of Sezrekanna), Blaxploitation Memnoch, Vulcan Memnoch, Drow Memnoch and Memnoch, servant of patron Wax.

They went to the lower levels, where they encountered some strange incense, a toad-cult hashpipe and Riley barely survived a fiery fey rune. They wisely avoided a room full of evil toad-mummies, but Wax did get dinged up by a spear-trap and then grabbed the Silver tablet of the cult. They recoiled in revulsion at the odd and unnatural frescoed couplings of the Toad Orgy room…

Advancing to the toad pools, they were saved by an outrageously successful sleep spell cast by Memnoch, which zapped most of the toads to sleep. The PCs courageously slaughtered the sleeping toads, waking up a few accidentally but dispatching them easily. They rescued the strange and annoying Llulch and proceeded to the Lair of the Toad Thing.

Amazingly, Wax, using the froghemoth controller-bone from the Hunting Lodge of the Arakne, was able to charm the Toad Thing. They proceeded to the cult transmutation pool and had a battle royal with the cultists. Again, Amazingly, when Wax directed he charmed Toad Thing to destroy the cultists, he fumbled the Pers check (TWICE IN A ROW) and the toad thing turned on the party, finally swallowing Knut whole (!) Thanks to kickass DJ, among others, they Toad-thing was defeated and the cultists were slain, but not before Memnoch misfired his Charm and fell madly in love with the Toad-Thing (!! WHICH HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, HE HAS A THING FOR FISH/REPTILES/AMPHIBIANS !!).

Pembroke was able to heal Knut just before he would have been lost forever and then to Neutralize the Disease that Wax had acquired from the tablet— finally, they were able to avoid the idol by fleeing desperately and using Memnoch’s Knock to overcome the Ward Portal.


Sezrekan has named his goal to be first patron amongst Loch Nwar.
The party found lots of loot in the Croaking Fane— but how will they spend it??
Kotha has yet to collect her boon, which she will in the next adventure.. a bona fide space ship (CRAWLJAMMER??)
Wax has a small contingent of Myrmidoppleganger spies!!


Trials of the Toymakers

Roll call:

Trevor – Memnoch the Triboleth
Jon – Knut the Beekeepin’ Badass
Clint – Zobol the Slug-tamer, Bizo the Yeti
Ian – Wax the mage and Absalom the NIghtmare priest (Deceased)
Tim – DJ the Dwarf and Captain Kotha

The adventure starts in the village of Zymetris, where the adventurers have been summoned to examine the poor production of lumber, pelts and wild-rice coming out of this obscure Northern province. (The new Hyperbaron, Memnoch, is hereditary lord of this obscure community - as of last adventure- and needs income to dig out of the 2000 gp debt he also inherited).

While visiting the village, the adventurers hear that the eternal solstice ritual of gifts being delivered to the village children has been disrupted, a scary portent of disorder. Worse yet, three village children are missing, having struck off into the Taboo Lands to seek out the source of the solstice issues. After the gift of the sacred OONTHALO ( a hat made from a stuffed muskrat) to Wax, the adventurers decide to go the Taboo Lands and investigate matters for themselves.

In the lake country, they find a mysterious island and are ambushed by six shrubberies, wisely deciding to canoe the rest of the way to the island. In the island, they quickly discover a lair of dead toy-making gnomes, fighting wooden arachnid-constructs, before finding the missing children and starting to slowly piece together the mystery of what happened to the gnomes.

In short order:
1) They slay a stuffed bear that attacks them.
2) Wax and DJ fall down an elevator shaft, both breaking their right legs...(actually, they died, but their bodies were rolled over and both were found miraculously alive by the virtue of Luck rolls! Between that and the broken limbs, their stats may never be the same…)
3) They journey back down to the lowest level and find a cage full of large moles, trying the exotic delicacy of MOLE MILK for the first time.
4) They go down to the quarry where they encounter a giant slug, which Zobol the animal trainer tames with a nat 20 on the dice…!
5) They explore the fourth level, finding all manner of dead gnomes and various planet-ariums, schematics and other things. Captain Kotha with her maritime skills is able to read the star charts (as well as making a crit (nat20!) on Reading the Gnome language…!

Finally, after an encounter with some gnome ghosts, they ascend to the sacred treasure room and find the golden mill, which must be used to prepare the components of the artifacts to complete the ritual of rescuing the Sun. Now Ydreksas the demon appears to use his envy magic on them! A spell duel ensues, in which Memnoch, Wax and Absalom try to fend him off while Kotha and Knut use the mill.

Memnoch is defeated first, driven into a rage of envy for Zobol’s magical Horn, looking for the hidden halfling. Wax misfires her Invoke Patron just as she is hit by the Envy, both driving her mad with envy of religious types, forcing her to slay the strange but quite useful priest Absalom the cleric. (“Thanks for all the healing.. NoW DIE!!”) Knut subdued DJ the Dwarf, struck with envy of Knut’s superior stamina. By the time all this mayhem had occurred, Kotha had managed to burn through many luck points (also with Zobol’s help) and finally activated the artifact, rescuing the Sun!

The village is saved, and the villagers reluctantly agree to work harder for the glory of Hyperbaron Zemetris. That night in their dreams, in the hut of the village shaman, a vision of SAKANTA, the bear-god comes to them, offering them a great boon for their service in rescuing the Sun… for what will they ask…???

XP: 19
Luck: 1 point of Luck for the Lawful characters.

Garden of Dread

Roll call:

Tim – Kotha the Thief, DJ the Dwarf
Ian – Wax the Sunless
Jon – Knut the Warrior (& Beekeeper)
Charlie – Publio the Thief
Josh – Dranor the Cleric (servant of Amun Tor)
Trevor – Memnoch the Triboleth
Clint – Zobol the Halfling, Bizo the Yeti Warrior

The adventure opened with a band of musicians and heralds making their way to the Three Lions where they delivered a message to Memnoch declaring him to be the only known heir of Hyper Baron Glotalis Zemetris (!) The Hyperbaron lives on the Second Central Island in Loch Nwar and summoned Memnoch to attend him.

Note: Wax tried to get the Chain of Heaven shavings re-forged into a mask, but couldn’t come up with the 100gp to re-forge it… (more to come…?)

Memnoch sought to charm Grex the Herald (Majordomo, Poobah, Grand Notary, et al) and succeeded in causing 4 passersby to fall in love with each other.

Kotha investigated the Island and the Hyperbaron and could find no link to the Arakne, but she did find that some thieves had gone to case the island recently and hadn’t returned.

Memnoch journeyed to the temple of Amun Tor, where he met Dranor, keeper of secrets. He retained the services of Dranor as those priests are important in arguing the finer points of genealogy. Shortly thereafter, Memnoch and co., including Dranor, ventured to the island to meet the Hyperbaron.

Turns out the Hyperbaron is a wizened old man in a small wooden throne. Pontifus Grimready, High Logician of the Fourth Development, spoke for him and bade Memnoch and friends to look into the goings-on there. After a short negotiation that turned sour, Pontifus, being Lawful-aligned to the point of fantacism, summoned the ARCHONS OF LAW- 6 law atuomatons, a unicorn and a Radiant Archon – to do battle on his behalf.

A long battle ensued in which:

1) Dranor cut off and acquired the unicorn horn.
2) Pontifus was felled and Bizo threw Zobol at the Logician; shortly thereafter Zobol fed him the black Chaos-goo he had harvested from the Shadow-hound pool in Doom of the Savage Kings.
3) Memnoch charmed three automatons.
4) Knut, DJ and Wax combined to destroy the angel and in so doing, DJ acquired her war-mace, Thundercross. It’s quite intelligent, has a terrible disarming thunder power and speaks, informing DJ that it wishes nothing more than to destroy Ystrick, Arch-Demon of the 14th Hell.

Although they bested the forces of Law, the adventurers decided to scout the garden in order to clear out the bad stuff or at least figure out what’s going on in there! After destroying the undead-mutated Hans the Gardener, they met a Chaos fey gnome who informed them that Hyperbaron Zemetris had betrayed the generations-long pact to put out a bowl of cream each morning for the garden gnomes and other denizens of the Summer Kingdom, who were linked to the estate via the blue stone set into the Hyperbaron’s chandelier. Hyperbaron Memnoch Zemetris decreed that cream will now again be set out, and has every reason to expect that the garden will return to normal, making him a normal and successful denizen of Loch Nwar’s nobility (!)


Thundercross the Mace (see notes)
Rings of Pontifus – one is a token of Law (cross), the other is a class ring from Loch Nwar prepatory, class of 3587 – each worth 100gp


Luck: 1 for all Chaotic characters

Chain of Fools


Aaron – Tursik the Neutral + Hunter the 0 level
Patrick – Nom the Neutral, servant of Ilvedere + “Little Nom”
Jon – Knut the Warrior + William the 0 level
GatorTodd – Dosh the Dwarf, missionary of Rainbow + Yellow the Silvered
Ian – Wax the Sunless + Ewe the slave (Deceased)
Rob – Roche the Master Thief + henchman
Tim – Kotha the Thief & DJ the Dwarf + henchman

The adventure begins with the ransacking of the convention of the Society of Circumspect Indifference, a secret organization dedicated to preserving the balance of Neutrality. Not only where members massacred, but an important map was stolen— the map that shows the way to Mount Desmos, where legend has it a chain actually hangs from the heavens, binding the Earth into place— the chain on which the Right Hand World literally depends! This theft was the design of the Academy of Dark Alchemy, whose chaotic members have long sought to find the chain and shave its metal in order to feed their Chaos magic.

By luck of the draw, fate or what-have-you, Tursik and Nom, two members of the Society stumble into the Three Lions, where Roche & Dosh have recently arrived on a world tour. Negotiations ensue and Roche, Dosh and the assembled members of the Sezrekan Gang all throw in to travel to Desmos as hirelings of Tursik & Nom.

Travel is tedious across the plains, only broken up by hiring some henchmen in the town of BOOGL. (This town is so remote that the zero-level characters are stone-age pregens.)

The city of Dothde, the Dark Elves, was seen at a remove but when it could not be approached by the contingent to seek it out, the party abandoned that hope.

Finally, they came to the village of Hoz at the foot of Mt Desmos. Unbeknownst to the party, the Alchemists had already raided Hoz and killed the villagers before establishing a base here. After they poisoned the party and tried to burn them alive in the only inn building in Hoz, the adventurers fought their way out and defeated the guardsmen. One, negotiating for his freedom, brought them to a girl who had been transmuted entirely into silver. Wax and Kotha both lost their henchmen to the guards here.

The party wasted no time getting up the mountain, triggering one trap that launched spears at them from non-Euclidean space and avoiding another trap by carefully opening sliding doors. They were ambushed by crossbowmen and a bloody battle ensued in which the weakened party barely bested the bowmen. Capturing more guards alive, they learned that the ceremony was going on even at that moment. They hurried to the stairs to attain the upper level and were attacked by a surviving, blinded giant that had been one of the monks at the monastery— only Nom was able to talk him into peaceful friendship.

On the next level, a party of guards and “Bronze Dogs” was encountered and defeated before they party made their way up to the top level, seeing the chain and Grandmaster Egus of the Academy and his golem-like “project”, the living creature of Silver known as “The Silver Saint”. Nom cast a darkness that the Dwarves were able to negotiate and the Saint suddenly went mad, his transformation goading him to destroy the chain, even as Egus tried to destroy the party.

A long combat ensued in which Yellow the Molotov-wielding henchmen was turned to silver, along with Knut’s shield; Wax was transformed via spell burn into a Chaos thief avatar to destroy the Saint; and Tursik finished off the Grandmaster by successfully lifting him off the ground via Ropework and dropping him to his death.

Notable items:

Egus’s spellbook
Ring of the Silver sheen – +1 AC (due to the metallic silver sheen the wearer’s skin gains)
2 high-explosive pellets
1 acid pellet

Total: 15 xp
Neutrals – 2 luck
Chaotics & Lawfuls – 1 luck

RandomCrawl - Oneshot
Mutants of Knockwurst!

Mutants of Knockwurst – RandomCrawl

This adventure was a one-shot based on experimental adventure generation using Storydice and random tables, using the Moldavy Basic rules also with some monster cards, critical cards, plot twist cards. Although it wasn’t strictly DCC, I’m putting the writeup here since it shared some aesthetic similarities with that type of game …!


Aaron – Gron the Dwarf
Diane – Seraphin the Cleric
Brandon – Mlango the Thief
Clint – Bellow the Fighter
Jon – Brother Hollandaise

Setting / fluff: The players filled out the Mad-lib multiple choice questionnaire and decided on the following setting: The adventurers’ post apocalytpic society was ruled by Chaotic Dwarves, and the players all had mutations (from Gamma World 1E). As third level adventurers, their first adventure was Keep on the Borderlands. Their last adventure was Castle of the Unknown Space Pharaohs, where they picked up the magic user known as the Space Pharaoh.

After a visit from the Gray Aliens, Gerhardt, leader of the Dwarves of Knockwurst, assigned Gron (the leader of the adventurers) to take his adventurers to the source of the Messwaja River and seek the fabled Rainbow trout, bringing them back as fresh as possible. For this purpose, the party recruited one amazingly stupid dwraf (Himongel) and two half-dwarf/goblins (“Dwarblins”) to accompany them. (Poor Himongel and Glima were killed in combat, alas).

There was a traveling encounter in which the party surprised three bugbears, finding a magic sword (Holy Avenger +5!!!!) but since there are no paladins in the party, or even lawful fighters who could pass a CHA check, it functions only as a +2 Long sword. Also, every time it is used by a non-paladin, it calmly declares that the wielder is unworthy.

The next day they arrived at the source of the river and found a cave where neandrethals waited in ambush of the hardy crew. During the pitched battle, the neandrethals were attacked from behind by an army of .. space skeletons! Yes, they were the undead servants of a Space Pharoah empress. Brother Hollandaise and Seraphin managed to turn the skeletons and they encountered four human nobles from the settlement of St. Paul— they were finding rainbow trout in order to trade with the Gray Aliens for “laser cannons.” Mlango pickpocketed the humans for the trout (!!)

Advancing into the cave, Bellow found a charging elephant in the service of the Empress Havana-Ptah, Space Pharaoh queen, who was fishing the pond, no doubt for gray alien trade. The Space Pharoah mage managed to frighten the elephant with a phantasmal force of a mouse (!) and Bellow, Gron and Seraphin descended on the Queen to do battle, finally destroying her.

Returning to Knockwurst, the trout were turned over to Gerhardt who promoted Gron from a Dwarf of the second tier (underground) to the first tier. All adventurers were rewarded with 100gp.

Hunting Lodge of the Arakne

Roll call:

Aaron – Brottle the Cleric (Deceased)
Ian – Wax the Elf
Tim – DJ the Dwarf and Kotha the Thief
Clint – Zobol the Halfling & Bizo the Yeti
Mark – Cintra the Warrior (Deceased)
Jon – Knut the Warrior Beekeeper
Trevor – Memnoch the Shibboleth

The session started with the recap of how DJ, Kotha, Zobol, Bizo and Cintra were brought quite unexpectedly to Loch Nwar, where they were unable to meet up with Memnoch and friends right away, but were eventually reunited.

In the meantime, Wax the Elf successfully patron-bonded with Silverday the Demigoddess of assassins!

Kotha was searching for someone to assassinate (as per the curse on her sword) and was eventually put in touch with Janos Vander, who claimed to be the father of a young woman slain by the vicious “Arakne” nobleman the Metaduke Clarius Vem. Janos was veiled, since he was in monring for his daughter, who he showed to the party, a young woman’s corpse, covered in webs and dripping black poison from her lips. Since Vem is a man of some great power in Loch Nwar, Vander suggested that the party seek him out and ambush him at his hunting lodge. He offered the price of 1000 gp to destroy the Metaduke and the party agreed. They requested spider poison antidotes, which he had duly delivered to the inn.

Housekeeping: Memnoch hired two Zack & Zeke, two brothers, to tend bar and keep Narva the Healer company.

The party journeyed to the Northwest, along the Virid and a tributary stream, out into the swamp. There they fought a tribe of Lake People warriors attired in the cured skin armor of Toad-men. The tribesmen and their shaman had gained control of a Froghemoth. In the ensuing melee, it looked pretty grim for our heroes until Wax successfully slept the Froghemoth. When the Lake People fled, Brottle seized the bone that had been used to control the beast and successfully mastered the art of controlling it.

The party continued on, finding the hunting lodge. Kotha scouted the lodge and killed one of the Arakne’s henchmen in the outhouse. She drew the characters back toward the lodge, unsuspectingly into an ambush of spider-wolves. During this melee, the characters rushed the froghemoth into the lodge where it was ambushed by the waiting crossbowmen. As the party slew the spider-wolves, the Froghemoth was routed by the extremely accurate (and lucky) crossbowmen.

As they party discussed the plan of action (and argued about whether to burn the lodge down), the crossbowmen rushed out to attack and a giant spider first slew Memnoch on the roof ( he was later discovered to be STILL ALIVE!), then snuck around to ambush the party from behind. Again Wax was able to sleep the vicious spider and the party destroyed it and the crossbowmen, but not before the spider slew Brottle the Cleric. The spider slowly reverted back to the body of Metaduke Clarius Vem; his head was removed in order that they might claim the bounty from Janos Vander.

In the lodge, they found few things of value, except for a pit-trap that Cintra blundered into, where she was slain by a waiting beetlebear.. part of the ambush the hunter-cultists had lain for the party.

Returning to Loch Nwar, the adventurers tried to claim their bounty but Janos Vander seemed unaware of their existence and there seemed no knowledge of his deceased daughter in his island household. Memnoch was presented with a note that declared his new patron (Sezrakan) unwelcome in Loch Nwar and ordering him and his company of adventurers to leave town.

Brooch found in the opened guts of the spider-creature
Scroll found in the pouch of Vem (after his return to human form). Scroll of Protection from Magic.
Legbone inscribed with various runes of Froghemoth control.


Banquet of the Dwarves' Guild
or "The Bloody Basement of the Three Lions"

Roll Call:

Aaron – Brondel the Cleric
Ian – Wax the Sunless
Trevor – Memnoch the Shibboleth
Jon – Knut the (mighty) Beekeeper
Charlie – …returning as .. Publio the Thief

Memnoch and Wax, last seen in the last session disappearing from the belly of the Kraken at the behest of Sezrekan the Elder, were dropped in the distant city of Loch Nwar. For inscrutable reasons best left unexamined forever, Sezrekan saw fit to replace Molly, Spontius, Zobol and Bizo with their former ally Knut the Warrior and semi-retired Publio the Thierf. Also in the mix, as he wandered home from a party (in the afternoon) was Brondel the Cleric, worshipper of Cthulhu. Also Memnoch had Crims the Trafficker and Narva the – level healer in tow, Crims being the slaver that Memnoch had been directed by Sezrekan to seek in order to change the mercurial magic of his Rope Mastery spell. Crims also coughs up a paper that orders the adventurers to “Seek Szymandia”.

Immediately upon arriving, a huge wave of ravens began to blot out the afternoon sky above the town square of Loch Nwar. Alertly, Memnoch dashed into a nearby inn (The Three Lions) and his companions followed, taking refuge in the cellar as a wave of ravens and raven-men descended on the hapless town, seeking “the holder of the Pearl”. The inhabitants of the inn fought off the ravens while our heroes cringed in the cellar and began to cut up Crims. Only after the battle had been won by the inn’s patrons did Memnoch cut the unlucky Crims open and take the heart out and cut it open to find the runes etched therein— with the secrets of arcane rope mastery!!

(Memnoch later re-learns Rope Mastery with two new mercurial effects— one creates extra-dimensional mirror images by tapping into alternate realities and summoning alternate versions of himself— with a permanent 1% chance of getting sucked into an alternate reality. The second effect is that some distant world has thousands dying every time the spell is cast, with a distant sorcerer-king cursing his name and haunting his dreams…)

The party understakes to seek Szymandia, hiring a boat to journey to the island home of this Dark Elf lady. She explains that a jewel called the Flickering Star has been stolen from her by the Dwarves who’ve taken over the city guard (known as “The River Paladins”). The Dwarves are planning to use the jewel in a blood ceremony that very evening in the paladins’ own Tower of Retribution.. she promises them coin or Elf-Prizes if they will retrieve the jewel for her.

On the way back, Publio assassinates the boatman Bulb, and shortly thereafter, they are accosted by Eryl the Poet, Fourth Baron of Buckshire who offers to hire them at double the reward, etc, but not before they capture Erly and kill his henchman, except for the charmed Emeril the thug.

They return with their captives to the Three Lions and find the innkeepers’ brother and family cleaning it. They offer to sell it to the characters for 100 gp and they negotiate an agreement to do so, but decide to wait until the following day to finish the deal. The party hits upon the idea of disguising themselves in River Paladin uniforms to infiltrate the Tower, and to this end, they lure some guardsmen to the Three Lions where they poison them with Wax’s hallucigenic mushrooms. (When only four are downed this way, they finally feed the last guard shots until he passes out). They dispatch the guards, as well as Eryl the Poet who has explained to them that there seem to be many competitors for the Flickering Star as the possessor of it can demand Szymandia’s hand in elf-marriage.

Now they make their way to the Tower of Retribution in disguise, holding Wax and Brondle as prisoners. The island is nearly empty and they slay the guardsmen posted before fighting the Dwarf guards within the tower. Pitched combat ensues with a mutated wolf creature as well as sniping Dwarves; finally, the adventurers overcome the guards and make their way up to the banquet hall of the occult gangsters known as the Dwarves’ Guild.

They find the Dwarves poised to sacrifice the River Paladins’ commander in order to open a chaos-rift and bring Hell on Earth to Loch Nwar. Memnoch alertly charms the Guild’s heads Bilj the Burnt and Goldbeard, while the 6 Dwarf commanders try to fight the party through the oily rug that they’ve brought in. Brondel picks up the star; Just when the Dwarves are defeated, a Dark Elf Prince and two demon henchmen crash through the skylight and assault the party but they are defeated by Memnoch’s sleep spell, also used on Brondel so that he might gain the Star. When even they are defeated, a great fire demon roars to life and demands “THE PEARL!” from Memnoch. The party runs away, Publio snatching the Star from Memnoch. Cornered by the fire demon, alone in the Banquet room, Memnoch uses the sacrifical Blood Bowl of Goldbeard and spell-burns for another last-ditch invocation to Sezrakan. The fire demon misses Memnoch once and Memnoch successfully charms and dispels the fire spirit, sending it back to the infernal hell from which it came.

Returning to Szymandia, Publio carefully ponders withholding the prize from his companions and demanding her hand in marriage. (But also fears they will kill him, as this would cheat the others out of their due treasure!) In the end she offers “Elf-Prizes” to each, which they choose as follows:

Brondle chooses a Kooshay Elven hound
Wax chooses a “bag of whimsy” i.e., 3 luck points
Memnoch chooses a Potion of Rejuvenation (6 hd healing potion!)
Knut chooses the Secret … which turns out to be an attribute increase— he raises his strength to 18!
Publio also chooses Whimsy, making him a very lucky thief indeed.

XP awarded: 24
Luck points (completion of mission)- 1

Belly of the Sea Beast
or "How I learned to stop worrying and love the Black Pearl"


Dave – Judge Spontius, apologist for Sezrakan
Ian – Wax the Sunless
Clint – Zobol the Halfling / Bizo the Yeti
Trevor – Memnoch the Shibboleth
Emily – Molly Mckraken the thief

First part of our session was dedicated to some housekeeping items:

1. Spontius & Memnoch decided that the Black Pearl was kept by Memnoch.
2. Memnoch completed his bond with Sezrakan
3. Zobol and Memnoch began construction of a friendly adorable hobbit hole in Albit Valley, Zobol’s home shire. Here, they will conduct chaos experiments on the deadly worms and shadow demon dog goo they’ve collected and bring vile things into the world that were never meant to haunt creation.
4. The pirates of the Gray Galley Gang, Savage Quenn’s old friends (from Tower of the Black Pearl) are down to 5 members: Futon, Ferlinghetti, Kerouac, Corso and Ginsberg.
5. Several strange happenings have been going on in Snakedeep since Memnoch & Spontius returned there, including an army of enraged owlbears attacking.

Against this backdrop, the new members gathered. Molly is Futon’s sometimes-girlfriend and an honorary member of the Gray Galley pirates. Wax the Sunless has been sent by the Voice to find Memnoch the Shibboleth and aid him in his quest, in order to bring a “submersible” into the fold for the Black Mirror and Saint Silverday.

Meanwhile, Memnoch has sought Sezrakan’s help in order to relearn his Rope Mastery spell so that he can take it without taking 2-5 points of damage each time he casts it. (!) The quest he’s been given is to look into the heart of Krimz the Trafficker for this secret.

Upon some questioning, they find that Krimz is a slaver and smuggler and the Gray Galley Gang knows where he hides out in an ship in a remote area. After investigating and finding slave ledgers and some very exotic shell-based currency, on this abandoned ship, they find a strange tube fixed to the bottom of the vessel, leading far down into .. what seems like a belly of a bizarre, gigantic sea-beast.

They struggle to overcome the amphibious Deep Ones that they fight there, and decide to retreat and rest and lick their wounds. (Not only does Wax nearly die, but Memnoch fumbles his Charm spell and falls in deep love with one of the Deep Ones, his heart now scarred by the tragic end of his 6 second love affair that ended with his unnamed amphibious lover being eviscerated by a Yeti…)

Retreating to the nearby coastal village of Schloum, they find themselves “welcomed” by surly web-fingered degenerates. Things go from annoying to bad when a giant spider-crab monster wades out of the deeps to attack them, with Spontius, Memnoch and Wax barely making it back to the ship in time to leave the town. When the sea-spider follows them, Wax defeats it with a Sleep spell.

They take it back to Schloum and have a crab cookout with the townspeople. Then they return to Scherzer’s Folly (Krimz’s ship) and make their way back into the belly-bladder of the Kraken beneath the deeps. Here they find a strange village made up of sea-dwelling types: Nereids, Sea-Elves and more Deep Ones. During a brief exchange with one of the nereids, they find that these Belly-dwellers have been overthrown by Krimz’s one-time allies, the Deep Ones, who have taken over their palace and are planning to do some dark ritual for their masters, the Unknowables.

The adventurers hit on the plan of freeing as many slaves as they can and then disrupting the ritual. Finding the ritual in progress, Wax spellburns and crits his Sleep spell and puts every living thing to sleep within a radius of 500 yards. Only the strange blood/ink demon is unaffected, materializing as Wax tries to wake his companion. A strange combat ensues in which the party can’t harm the demon very much but the demon is safe above the sacrifical pool he’s emerged from, out of the party’s group. After prying out one of the clam-shaped Unknowable’s “pearl”, Memnoch invokes the aid of Sezrakan with spellburn and ends up transporting himself and his comrades (+the prisoner, Krimz) 380 miles away (!) to some safe but perhaps inconvenient location… Just as a rampaging Purple Worm broke through the palace walls to attack the holder of the Pearl…

Session wrap:

1 Luck point for all
1 pending luck point for Memnoch if he completes his quest to re-learn his spell from Krimz.


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