Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG - Minneapolis

Frozen In Time!
December 21, 2013

Inaugural adventure for the new DCC Campaign featured Michael Curtis’s FROZEN IN TIME

(Read no further if you wish to play this module!)

Roll Call:

Brandon – Priest of Dyver, God of Metal
Clint – 4 zeroes, including Zorob the halfling animal trainer
Micah – Hilsford the Halfling
Jon – 4 zeroes including the slave and the Elf
Bob – 4 zeroes (brothers) including FLINX the T-REX SLAYER
Bryce – 4 zeroes – Gog, Magog, Throgg and Grog

Condensed highlights for the adventure (Not a play-by-play):

The group started out with an awesome series of oracles cat by the Priest, who rolled the bones and dispensed oracular advice randomly determined from a Ronnie James Dio song.

They were hired to scale the Demon Ice, a glacier that had recently openly opened up and penetrate its secrets.

They figured out quickly that it would be easier to mount the glacier from the surrounding cliffs and lower themselves to the holes in the side. In doing so, they confronted a sabertooth bear and killed it, then spotted the crease that led down into the HQ of the dead time-god.

First highlight was Zorob using his animal-training skills to befriend the injured yeti laying in wait. (And feeding him copious amounts of bear meat).

Smart play : the halfling not being surprised by the Yeti; not falling down the first broken tube.

The team went to the higher levels and found the corpse of the time baron, then ransacked his treasury, facing off with an indignant robot. A long combat ensued, many zeroes were dropped but the party continued to roll well in combat and also in Luck rolls after dying.

Several futuristic weapons were found, but no one could make heads or tails of them.

Next they went to the lower levels, found several strange machines, then blundered into the menagerie of the time baron. Here they fought a mighty ant-man, dropped him, and escaped and then escaped after fighting the owlbear.

They emerged in the Trophy room in which a T-rex was held in stasis, just as the power began to give out in the complex. A desperate fight ensued with the T-rex, culminating in mighty Flinx delivering a savage deathblow.

Note: The dice were hot in the players’ favor today!

The characters made a mad dash to escape via the crease and attain the glacier. Most made it, but the slower PCs— the Priest, carrying the antman carcass, and Throgg, weighed down by armor, did not make it. All the Gog brothers and the Priest were destroyed as the glacier collapsed.

Last, with the aid of halfling luck, Zorob was able to cement his bond with the Bizo the Yeti.. now mighty Zorob can claim the taming of a wolf pup AND a yeti.

12 18 XP was awarded as well as a Luck point for any survivors who continue to adventure on!

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DOOM of the Savage Kings

Roll call:

Clint: Zobol the Halfling & Bizo the Trained Yeti
Tim – DJ Thammercast the Dwarf and Kotha the Thief
Todd – Stringfellow the Cleric and Frances Silvergold the Elf
Mark – Deranzdar the Wizard and Sintra the Warrior

The adventurers came into the village of Hirot where they encountered the villagers leading a young woman to be sacrificed on the ancient standing stones. A phantom hound was terrorizing the village each night and they came to sacrifice to it, by drawing lots in the village. The wizard being very curious about the forces of Chaos, they agree to take her place at the stones and encounter the hound for themselves, in exchange for free wine and food from the village of course.

The party defeats the hound but it shifts away immaterially and drifts to the Northeast. They return to the village to find that they have only delayed the hound’s rampage, not defeated it. They inquire as to the nature of the beast and gather that there is a tomb to the North that has a spear rumored to be able to fix it. In the course of inquiry, they meet the Widow Ymae and she asks one of the party to marry her for the secret of how to slay the hound. The wizard and elf (her visitors) decline this offer.

Adventuring to the tomb, the party recovers the Wolf-Spear after many close calls and several fortunate luck rolls. Leaving with only one casualty, they are attacked by the Jarl’s men who are jealous of their power, but repel them easily. Then they go to confront the hound in his lair. The hound is easily beaten this time, but when Syntra fumbles with the Wolf Spear, it’s dispatched without killing it permanently again. The frustrated party returns to the village and consults Ymae on how to kill it, but she will only give the secret if they agree to marry her. DJ the kickass Dwarf agrees to marry her in order to get the secret and learns that the Wolf Spear must be used to pin the wolf OR her net woven of corpse-hair may be used to bind it.

The party returns to the wolf-lair and this time slays the wolf successfully, but only after Deranzadar is slain. They bring the wolf body back to Hirot and are feasted like heroes. The Dwarf finds the witch already in the arms of her demonically returned husband, but she gifts him with a shirt of golden chainmale.

Notable loot:

Wolf spear: +1 melee weapon / + 1 initiative

Horn – Glows in the presence of poisoned food/drink; 3 times/week grants +4 to Fort save vs. poison; 3 times/month heals d12 per hit die of damage; once and only once it will restore one person to life, but then the horn will be broken.

Buckler +1 – can be used by dual wielder

The Battleaxe that the Elf used to cut down the wolf after it was pinned— becomes a +1 weapon / +2 vs. Chaos.

XP:

First hound battle: 4
Water snake battle: 2
Spear trap: 3
Ghouls: 5
Jigsaw column: 3
Jarl’s men: 2
Final hound battle: 3 + 3
XP total:
25.
+ 1 luck point

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Tower of the Black Pearl!!
or, "How I learned to stop worrying and love Sezrakan"

Roll call:

Trevor- Memnoch the Wizard
Jen – Wump the Halfling
Dave- Judge Spontius, Cleric of Humantar
Tim – Kotha the thief and DJ the Dwarf
Jon – Knut the bee-keeper and Warrior

The party met at a bar, drawn together by a mutual wish to avoid a tavern brawl in the offing between the Snakedeep city watch and the Lowlies, a band of mercenaries. They heard a scream outside the bar and discovered two pirates running from a just-stabbed wizard. Apprehending the pirates (after a Sleep Spell and Rain of Frogs), the party found a map to a mysterious X in the middle of the well-known smuggling islands but could not figure out anything about what they were supposed to find there (both the Cleric and the Wizard fumbled their lore checks!)

Nonetheless, they went on to Ralph’s Rent-a-skiff and proudly checked out the Crustacean Queen, by which they journeyed to the point on the map. Using Second Sight, Judge Spontius determined that the tower housed a priceless black pearl that they might capture if they entered the tower. After dispatching some drunken pirate guards atop the tower, they entered from above.

Within the tower, they found a registry of Lawful heroes but resisted the temptation to play with the strange candles that seemed tied to their lives. They went downstairs and puzzled out the strange magical portals that led to the tower-depths, where they dispatched several more pirates, then learning that the pirates were in the employ of Savage Quenn, a pirate lord who was seeking the Black Pearl as well.

After finding their way through some strange enchanted rooms and deathtraps, they found Quenn and the remaining pirates and struck up an uneasy truce. After a trap sealed the way behind them, Queen and the pirates took over a rope bridge and sought to saw it short after them— but the heroics of Wump the Halfling thwarted the plan and the adventurers gained the sepulcher room of Sezrakan the mighty. (After Quenn was dispatched). Searching the tomb, Sponteus accidentally defiled the body of Sezrakan who commaneded his obeisance upon pain of his wrath. Spontius quit his deity’s service on the spot and took on the bond of Sezrakan.

They found at last the room with the fabled Black Pearl and sent Wump over to get the Pearl from the statue of the dragon— which triggered a giant flood of water, causing them to flee. They managed to escape with the Pearl and 5 pirate prisoners, who gave themselves in fealty to Memnoch and co (especially after seeing what kind of GP the wizard was willing to throw around).

At the prompting of Futon the Pirate (begging for his life) they turned in Quenn’s head for the bounty on the pirate. Other notable loot: Whisker the rapier went to Kotha the thief and Knut picked up enchanted chainmale +1 The Black Pearl was being argued over — use its magical properties or sell it for big money (500gp) ?

Memnoch was determined to have the re-dedicated Spontius do the ceremony of Patron Bond upon him so he could invoke Sezrakan as a patron.

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Well of the Worm

Roll Call:

Adrienne – Ydrick the Dwarf
Jon – Knut the beekeeper Warrior
Clint – Zobol – the Halfling yeti-trainer
Tim – Kotha the Thief
Trevor – Memnoch the Mighty, Servant of Sezrakan

Developments:

Memnhoch has completed his Patron Bond with Sezrakan with the aid of Spontius.

The adventure began with the remnants of last episode’s gang gathering to consider their options, specifically what to do with the pirates that they had won over in Tower of the Black Pearl. Wanting to equip her new gang with a ship, Kotha was scouting employment opportunities and Zobol needed cash to feed the yeti with lots of raw fresh red meat.

The Elves of the Spire are hiring— specifically the strange Elf-Man-Dwarf triad that presented themselves as the “Ministry of the Ultraviolet Interregnum”. This odd trio hired the group to investigate the disappearance of one Solom Quor, a wizard that had left them to investigate the ancient battle field of HardFought several years back and never been heard from again.

They hired on Ydrick the Dwarf who helped them dodge some swindling horse-traders in Snakedeep; this was convenient as DJ was in a deep funk and relegated to a backup role in guarding horses and making sure ropes were not cut behind them.

They found a ghost town on the plains of Hard-fought where one surviving girl told the story of how the village had been cleaned out by savage worm-monsters; she was able to report that the worms emerged from and returned to a well slightly outside of town. Zobol was lowered down the well and attacked by the warms which turned into a War-worm massacre. Having cleaned out the worm-guards, they made their way down the well and through the lower levels of the worm lair.

Ultimately, after battling worm-possessed zombies and plenty of traps, they emerged from the mucus-slimed caves into an shrine of sorts; here they were attacked by a stunted hunchbacked man as well as the mother-worm he had grown in this underground hell. Desperate combat ensued in which Memnoch perished briefly at the hand of his own rain of frogs and various acid blasts, zombies and feral humans came in waves at the stalwart adventurers. Timely administration of luck points and healing potions barely pulled the party through disaster. Finally, they were able to dispatch the vile worm queen and piece together the fact that Solom Quol had lost his mind in the HardFought plains, turning from a searcher of antiquities into a devotee of the vile wormgoddess.

Looting the laboratory, they returned to the surface to collect their loot for the remains of Solom Quol and to bring the little girl Glyria back to Snakedeep.

BUT ON THE WAY OUT: Zobol and Memnoch grabbed one of the living devil worms and jarred it with half the remnants of the Shadow Hound from Doom of the Savage Kings. It is GROWING. And it wants BLOOD.

Note: Zobol was interested in taking Glyria under his wing as an intern of sorts when she grew up— halfling apprentice?

XP: 21

Treasure: (These are TOTALS – Including the fee for bringing back the remains of Solom Quol)

Scroll of Spider-Climb- anyone can cast, but spell check at -4 due to crabbed writing.
360 gp
203 sp
47 cp
mithral longsword
3 worm-goddess eggs (!)
3 silver spear-tips
5 silver crossbow tips
Books of Solum Quol
Solom’s spell book: Spider Climb, Charm Person, Knock and Phantasm
Drunken Dwarf figurine – worth 50gp for gold or 100 gp to a collector of Dwarven art.

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Belly of the Sea Beast
or "How I learned to stop worrying and love the Black Pearl"

Attending:

Dave – Judge Spontius, apologist for Sezrakan
Ian – Wax the Sunless
Clint – Zobol the Halfling / Bizo the Yeti
Trevor – Memnoch the Shibboleth
Emily – Molly Mckraken the thief

First part of our session was dedicated to some housekeeping items:

1. Spontius & Memnoch decided that the Black Pearl was kept by Memnoch.
2. Memnoch completed his bond with Sezrakan
3. Zobol and Memnoch began construction of a friendly adorable hobbit hole in Albit Valley, Zobol’s home shire. Here, they will conduct chaos experiments on the deadly worms and shadow demon dog goo they’ve collected and bring vile things into the world that were never meant to haunt creation.
4. The pirates of the Gray Galley Gang, Savage Quenn’s old friends (from Tower of the Black Pearl) are down to 5 members: Futon, Ferlinghetti, Kerouac, Corso and Ginsberg.
5. Several strange happenings have been going on in Snakedeep since Memnoch & Spontius returned there, including an army of enraged owlbears attacking.

Against this backdrop, the new members gathered. Molly is Futon’s sometimes-girlfriend and an honorary member of the Gray Galley pirates. Wax the Sunless has been sent by the Voice to find Memnoch the Shibboleth and aid him in his quest, in order to bring a “submersible” into the fold for the Black Mirror and Saint Silverday.

Meanwhile, Memnoch has sought Sezrakan’s help in order to relearn his Rope Mastery spell so that he can take it without taking 2-5 points of damage each time he casts it. (!) The quest he’s been given is to look into the heart of Krimz the Trafficker for this secret.

Upon some questioning, they find that Krimz is a slaver and smuggler and the Gray Galley Gang knows where he hides out in an ship in a remote area. After investigating and finding slave ledgers and some very exotic shell-based currency, on this abandoned ship, they find a strange tube fixed to the bottom of the vessel, leading far down into .. what seems like a belly of a bizarre, gigantic sea-beast.

They struggle to overcome the amphibious Deep Ones that they fight there, and decide to retreat and rest and lick their wounds. (Not only does Wax nearly die, but Memnoch fumbles his Charm spell and falls in deep love with one of the Deep Ones, his heart now scarred by the tragic end of his 6 second love affair that ended with his unnamed amphibious lover being eviscerated by a Yeti…)

Retreating to the nearby coastal village of Schloum, they find themselves “welcomed” by surly web-fingered degenerates. Things go from annoying to bad when a giant spider-crab monster wades out of the deeps to attack them, with Spontius, Memnoch and Wax barely making it back to the ship in time to leave the town. When the sea-spider follows them, Wax defeats it with a Sleep spell.

They take it back to Schloum and have a crab cookout with the townspeople. Then they return to Scherzer’s Folly (Krimz’s ship) and make their way back into the belly-bladder of the Kraken beneath the deeps. Here they find a strange village made up of sea-dwelling types: Nereids, Sea-Elves and more Deep Ones. During a brief exchange with one of the nereids, they find that these Belly-dwellers have been overthrown by Krimz’s one-time allies, the Deep Ones, who have taken over their palace and are planning to do some dark ritual for their masters, the Unknowables.

The adventurers hit on the plan of freeing as many slaves as they can and then disrupting the ritual. Finding the ritual in progress, Wax spellburns and crits his Sleep spell and puts every living thing to sleep within a radius of 500 yards. Only the strange blood/ink demon is unaffected, materializing as Wax tries to wake his companion. A strange combat ensues in which the party can’t harm the demon very much but the demon is safe above the sacrifical pool he’s emerged from, out of the party’s group. After prying out one of the clam-shaped Unknowable’s “pearl”, Memnoch invokes the aid of Sezrakan with spellburn and ends up transporting himself and his comrades (+the prisoner, Krimz) 380 miles away (!) to some safe but perhaps inconvenient location… Just as a rampaging Purple Worm broke through the palace walls to attack the holder of the Pearl…

Session wrap:

17xp
1 Luck point for all
1 pending luck point for Memnoch if he completes his quest to re-learn his spell from Krimz.

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Banquet of the Dwarves' Guild
or "The Bloody Basement of the Three Lions"

Roll Call:

Aaron – Brondel the Cleric
Ian – Wax the Sunless
Trevor – Memnoch the Shibboleth
Jon – Knut the (mighty) Beekeeper
Charlie – …returning as .. Publio the Thief

Memnoch and Wax, last seen in the last session disappearing from the belly of the Kraken at the behest of Sezrekan the Elder, were dropped in the distant city of Loch Nwar. For inscrutable reasons best left unexamined forever, Sezrekan saw fit to replace Molly, Spontius, Zobol and Bizo with their former ally Knut the Warrior and semi-retired Publio the Thierf. Also in the mix, as he wandered home from a party (in the afternoon) was Brondel the Cleric, worshipper of Cthulhu. Also Memnoch had Crims the Trafficker and Narva the – level healer in tow, Crims being the slaver that Memnoch had been directed by Sezrekan to seek in order to change the mercurial magic of his Rope Mastery spell. Crims also coughs up a paper that orders the adventurers to “Seek Szymandia”.

Immediately upon arriving, a huge wave of ravens began to blot out the afternoon sky above the town square of Loch Nwar. Alertly, Memnoch dashed into a nearby inn (The Three Lions) and his companions followed, taking refuge in the cellar as a wave of ravens and raven-men descended on the hapless town, seeking “the holder of the Pearl”. The inhabitants of the inn fought off the ravens while our heroes cringed in the cellar and began to cut up Crims. Only after the battle had been won by the inn’s patrons did Memnoch cut the unlucky Crims open and take the heart out and cut it open to find the runes etched therein— with the secrets of arcane rope mastery!!

(Memnoch later re-learns Rope Mastery with two new mercurial effects— one creates extra-dimensional mirror images by tapping into alternate realities and summoning alternate versions of himself— with a permanent 1% chance of getting sucked into an alternate reality. The second effect is that some distant world has thousands dying every time the spell is cast, with a distant sorcerer-king cursing his name and haunting his dreams…)

The party understakes to seek Szymandia, hiring a boat to journey to the island home of this Dark Elf lady. She explains that a jewel called the Flickering Star has been stolen from her by the Dwarves who’ve taken over the city guard (known as “The River Paladins”). The Dwarves are planning to use the jewel in a blood ceremony that very evening in the paladins’ own Tower of Retribution.. she promises them coin or Elf-Prizes if they will retrieve the jewel for her.

On the way back, Publio assassinates the boatman Bulb, and shortly thereafter, they are accosted by Eryl the Poet, Fourth Baron of Buckshire who offers to hire them at double the reward, etc, but not before they capture Erly and kill his henchman, except for the charmed Emeril the thug.

They return with their captives to the Three Lions and find the innkeepers’ brother and family cleaning it. They offer to sell it to the characters for 100 gp and they negotiate an agreement to do so, but decide to wait until the following day to finish the deal. The party hits upon the idea of disguising themselves in River Paladin uniforms to infiltrate the Tower, and to this end, they lure some guardsmen to the Three Lions where they poison them with Wax’s hallucigenic mushrooms. (When only four are downed this way, they finally feed the last guard shots until he passes out). They dispatch the guards, as well as Eryl the Poet who has explained to them that there seem to be many competitors for the Flickering Star as the possessor of it can demand Szymandia’s hand in elf-marriage.

Now they make their way to the Tower of Retribution in disguise, holding Wax and Brondle as prisoners. The island is nearly empty and they slay the guardsmen posted before fighting the Dwarf guards within the tower. Pitched combat ensues with a mutated wolf creature as well as sniping Dwarves; finally, the adventurers overcome the guards and make their way up to the banquet hall of the occult gangsters known as the Dwarves’ Guild.

They find the Dwarves poised to sacrifice the River Paladins’ commander in order to open a chaos-rift and bring Hell on Earth to Loch Nwar. Memnoch alertly charms the Guild’s heads Bilj the Burnt and Goldbeard, while the 6 Dwarf commanders try to fight the party through the oily rug that they’ve brought in. Brondel picks up the star; Just when the Dwarves are defeated, a Dark Elf Prince and two demon henchmen crash through the skylight and assault the party but they are defeated by Memnoch’s sleep spell, also used on Brondel so that he might gain the Star. When even they are defeated, a great fire demon roars to life and demands “THE PEARL!” from Memnoch. The party runs away, Publio snatching the Star from Memnoch. Cornered by the fire demon, alone in the Banquet room, Memnoch uses the sacrifical Blood Bowl of Goldbeard and spell-burns for another last-ditch invocation to Sezrakan. The fire demon misses Memnoch once and Memnoch successfully charms and dispels the fire spirit, sending it back to the infernal hell from which it came.

Returning to Szymandia, Publio carefully ponders withholding the prize from his companions and demanding her hand in marriage. (But also fears they will kill him, as this would cheat the others out of their due treasure!) In the end she offers “Elf-Prizes” to each, which they choose as follows:

Brondle chooses a Kooshay Elven hound
Wax chooses a “bag of whimsy” i.e., 3 luck points
Memnoch chooses a Potion of Rejuvenation (6 hd healing potion!)
Knut chooses the Secret … which turns out to be an attribute increase— he raises his strength to 18!
Publio also chooses Whimsy, making him a very lucky thief indeed.

XP awarded: 24
Luck points (completion of mission)- 1

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Hunting Lodge of the Arakne

Roll call:

Aaron – Brottle the Cleric (Deceased)
Ian – Wax the Elf
Tim – DJ the Dwarf and Kotha the Thief
Clint – Zobol the Halfling & Bizo the Yeti
Mark – Cintra the Warrior (Deceased)
Jon – Knut the Warrior Beekeeper
Trevor – Memnoch the Shibboleth

The session started with the recap of how DJ, Kotha, Zobol, Bizo and Cintra were brought quite unexpectedly to Loch Nwar, where they were unable to meet up with Memnoch and friends right away, but were eventually reunited.

In the meantime, Wax the Elf successfully patron-bonded with Silverday the Demigoddess of assassins!

Kotha was searching for someone to assassinate (as per the curse on her sword) and was eventually put in touch with Janos Vander, who claimed to be the father of a young woman slain by the vicious “Arakne” nobleman the Metaduke Clarius Vem. Janos was veiled, since he was in monring for his daughter, who he showed to the party, a young woman’s corpse, covered in webs and dripping black poison from her lips. Since Vem is a man of some great power in Loch Nwar, Vander suggested that the party seek him out and ambush him at his hunting lodge. He offered the price of 1000 gp to destroy the Metaduke and the party agreed. They requested spider poison antidotes, which he had duly delivered to the inn.

Housekeeping: Memnoch hired two Zack & Zeke, two brothers, to tend bar and keep Narva the Healer company.

The party journeyed to the Northwest, along the Virid and a tributary stream, out into the swamp. There they fought a tribe of Lake People warriors attired in the cured skin armor of Toad-men. The tribesmen and their shaman had gained control of a Froghemoth. In the ensuing melee, it looked pretty grim for our heroes until Wax successfully slept the Froghemoth. When the Lake People fled, Brottle seized the bone that had been used to control the beast and successfully mastered the art of controlling it.

The party continued on, finding the hunting lodge. Kotha scouted the lodge and killed one of the Arakne’s henchmen in the outhouse. She drew the characters back toward the lodge, unsuspectingly into an ambush of spider-wolves. During this melee, the characters rushed the froghemoth into the lodge where it was ambushed by the waiting crossbowmen. As the party slew the spider-wolves, the Froghemoth was routed by the extremely accurate (and lucky) crossbowmen.

As they party discussed the plan of action (and argued about whether to burn the lodge down), the crossbowmen rushed out to attack and a giant spider first slew Memnoch on the roof ( he was later discovered to be STILL ALIVE!), then snuck around to ambush the party from behind. Again Wax was able to sleep the vicious spider and the party destroyed it and the crossbowmen, but not before the spider slew Brottle the Cleric. The spider slowly reverted back to the body of Metaduke Clarius Vem; his head was removed in order that they might claim the bounty from Janos Vander.

In the lodge, they found few things of value, except for a pit-trap that Cintra blundered into, where she was slain by a waiting beetlebear.. part of the ambush the hunter-cultists had lain for the party.

Returning to Loch Nwar, the adventurers tried to claim their bounty but Janos Vander seemed unaware of their existence and there seemed no knowledge of his deceased daughter in his island household. Memnoch was presented with a note that declared his new patron (Sezrakan) unwelcome in Loch Nwar and ordering him and his company of adventurers to leave town.

Treasure:
Brooch found in the opened guts of the spider-creature
Scroll found in the pouch of Vem (after his return to human form). Scroll of Protection from Magic.
Legbone inscribed with various runes of Froghemoth control.

XP:
15

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RandomCrawl - Oneshot
Mutants of Knockwurst!

Mutants of Knockwurst – RandomCrawl

This adventure was a one-shot based on experimental adventure generation using Storydice and random tables, using the Moldavy Basic rules also with some monster cards, critical cards, plot twist cards. Although it wasn’t strictly DCC, I’m putting the writeup here since it shared some aesthetic similarities with that type of game …!

Attending:

Aaron – Gron the Dwarf
Diane – Seraphin the Cleric
Brandon – Mlango the Thief
Clint – Bellow the Fighter
Tim – THE SPACE PHARAOH
Jon – Brother Hollandaise

Setting / fluff: The players filled out the Mad-lib multiple choice questionnaire and decided on the following setting: The adventurers’ post apocalytpic society was ruled by Chaotic Dwarves, and the players all had mutations (from Gamma World 1E). As third level adventurers, their first adventure was Keep on the Borderlands. Their last adventure was Castle of the Unknown Space Pharaohs, where they picked up the magic user known as the Space Pharaoh.

After a visit from the Gray Aliens, Gerhardt, leader of the Dwarves of Knockwurst, assigned Gron (the leader of the adventurers) to take his adventurers to the source of the Messwaja River and seek the fabled Rainbow trout, bringing them back as fresh as possible. For this purpose, the party recruited one amazingly stupid dwraf (Himongel) and two half-dwarf/goblins (“Dwarblins”) to accompany them. (Poor Himongel and Glima were killed in combat, alas).

There was a traveling encounter in which the party surprised three bugbears, finding a magic sword (Holy Avenger +5!!!!) but since there are no paladins in the party, or even lawful fighters who could pass a CHA check, it functions only as a +2 Long sword. Also, every time it is used by a non-paladin, it calmly declares that the wielder is unworthy.

The next day they arrived at the source of the river and found a cave where neandrethals waited in ambush of the hardy crew. During the pitched battle, the neandrethals were attacked from behind by an army of .. space skeletons! Yes, they were the undead servants of a Space Pharoah empress. Brother Hollandaise and Seraphin managed to turn the skeletons and they encountered four human nobles from the settlement of St. Paul— they were finding rainbow trout in order to trade with the Gray Aliens for “laser cannons.” Mlango pickpocketed the humans for the trout (!!)

Advancing into the cave, Bellow found a charging elephant in the service of the Empress Havana-Ptah, Space Pharaoh queen, who was fishing the pond, no doubt for gray alien trade. The Space Pharoah mage managed to frighten the elephant with a phantasmal force of a mouse (!) and Bellow, Gron and Seraphin descended on the Queen to do battle, finally destroying her.

Returning to Knockwurst, the trout were turned over to Gerhardt who promoted Gron from a Dwarf of the second tier (underground) to the first tier. All adventurers were rewarded with 100gp.

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Chain of Fools

Attending:

Aaron – Tursik the Neutral + Hunter the 0 level
Patrick – Nom the Neutral, servant of Ilvedere + “Little Nom”
Jon – Knut the Warrior + William the 0 level
GatorTodd – Dosh the Dwarf, missionary of Rainbow + Yellow the Silvered
Ian – Wax the Sunless + Ewe the slave (Deceased)
Rob – Roche the Master Thief + henchman
Tim – Kotha the Thief & DJ the Dwarf + henchman

The adventure begins with the ransacking of the convention of the Society of Circumspect Indifference, a secret organization dedicated to preserving the balance of Neutrality. Not only where members massacred, but an important map was stolen— the map that shows the way to Mount Desmos, where legend has it a chain actually hangs from the heavens, binding the Earth into place— the chain on which the Right Hand World literally depends! This theft was the design of the Academy of Dark Alchemy, whose chaotic members have long sought to find the chain and shave its metal in order to feed their Chaos magic.

By luck of the draw, fate or what-have-you, Tursik and Nom, two members of the Society stumble into the Three Lions, where Roche & Dosh have recently arrived on a world tour. Negotiations ensue and Roche, Dosh and the assembled members of the Sezrekan Gang all throw in to travel to Desmos as hirelings of Tursik & Nom.

Travel is tedious across the plains, only broken up by hiring some henchmen in the town of BOOGL. (This town is so remote that the zero-level characters are stone-age pregens.)

The city of Dothde, the Dark Elves, was seen at a remove but when it could not be approached by the contingent to seek it out, the party abandoned that hope.

Finally, they came to the village of Hoz at the foot of Mt Desmos. Unbeknownst to the party, the Alchemists had already raided Hoz and killed the villagers before establishing a base here. After they poisoned the party and tried to burn them alive in the only inn building in Hoz, the adventurers fought their way out and defeated the guardsmen. One, negotiating for his freedom, brought them to a girl who had been transmuted entirely into silver. Wax and Kotha both lost their henchmen to the guards here.

The party wasted no time getting up the mountain, triggering one trap that launched spears at them from non-Euclidean space and avoiding another trap by carefully opening sliding doors. They were ambushed by crossbowmen and a bloody battle ensued in which the weakened party barely bested the bowmen. Capturing more guards alive, they learned that the ceremony was going on even at that moment. They hurried to the stairs to attain the upper level and were attacked by a surviving, blinded giant that had been one of the monks at the monastery— only Nom was able to talk him into peaceful friendship.

On the next level, a party of guards and “Bronze Dogs” was encountered and defeated before they party made their way up to the top level, seeing the chain and Grandmaster Egus of the Academy and his golem-like “project”, the living creature of Silver known as “The Silver Saint”. Nom cast a darkness that the Dwarves were able to negotiate and the Saint suddenly went mad, his transformation goading him to destroy the chain, even as Egus tried to destroy the party.

A long combat ensued in which Yellow the Molotov-wielding henchmen was turned to silver, along with Knut’s shield; Wax was transformed via spell burn into a Chaos thief avatar to destroy the Saint; and Tursik finished off the Grandmaster by successfully lifting him off the ground via Ropework and dropping him to his death.

Notable items:

Egus’s spellbook
Ring of the Silver sheen – +1 AC (due to the metallic silver sheen the wearer’s skin gains)
2 high-explosive pellets
1 acid pellet

Total: 15 xp
Neutrals – 2 luck
Chaotics & Lawfuls – 1 luck

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Garden of Dread

Roll call:

Tim – Kotha the Thief, DJ the Dwarf
Ian – Wax the Sunless
Jon – Knut the Warrior (& Beekeeper)
Charlie – Publio the Thief
Josh – Dranor the Cleric (servant of Amun Tor)
Trevor – Memnoch the Triboleth
Clint – Zobol the Halfling, Bizo the Yeti Warrior

The adventure opened with a band of musicians and heralds making their way to the Three Lions where they delivered a message to Memnoch declaring him to be the only known heir of Hyper Baron Glotalis Zemetris (!) The Hyperbaron lives on the Second Central Island in Loch Nwar and summoned Memnoch to attend him.

Note: Wax tried to get the Chain of Heaven shavings re-forged into a mask, but couldn’t come up with the 100gp to re-forge it… (more to come…?)

Memnoch sought to charm Grex the Herald (Majordomo, Poobah, Grand Notary, et al) and succeeded in causing 4 passersby to fall in love with each other.

Kotha investigated the Island and the Hyperbaron and could find no link to the Arakne, but she did find that some thieves had gone to case the island recently and hadn’t returned.

Memnoch journeyed to the temple of Amun Tor, where he met Dranor, keeper of secrets. He retained the services of Dranor as those priests are important in arguing the finer points of genealogy. Shortly thereafter, Memnoch and co., including Dranor, ventured to the island to meet the Hyperbaron.

Turns out the Hyperbaron is a wizened old man in a small wooden throne. Pontifus Grimready, High Logician of the Fourth Development, spoke for him and bade Memnoch and friends to look into the goings-on there. After a short negotiation that turned sour, Pontifus, being Lawful-aligned to the point of fantacism, summoned the ARCHONS OF LAW- 6 law atuomatons, a unicorn and a Radiant Archon – to do battle on his behalf.

A long battle ensued in which:

1) Dranor cut off and acquired the unicorn horn.
2) Pontifus was felled and Bizo threw Zobol at the Logician; shortly thereafter Zobol fed him the black Chaos-goo he had harvested from the Shadow-hound pool in Doom of the Savage Kings.
3) Memnoch charmed three automatons.
4) Knut, DJ and Wax combined to destroy the angel and in so doing, DJ acquired her war-mace, Thundercross. It’s quite intelligent, has a terrible disarming thunder power and speaks, informing DJ that it wishes nothing more than to destroy Ystrick, Arch-Demon of the 14th Hell.

Although they bested the forces of Law, the adventurers decided to scout the garden in order to clear out the bad stuff or at least figure out what’s going on in there! After destroying the undead-mutated Hans the Gardener, they met a Chaos fey gnome who informed them that Hyperbaron Zemetris had betrayed the generations-long pact to put out a bowl of cream each morning for the garden gnomes and other denizens of the Summer Kingdom, who were linked to the estate via the blue stone set into the Hyperbaron’s chandelier. Hyperbaron Memnoch Zemetris decreed that cream will now again be set out, and has every reason to expect that the garden will return to normal, making him a normal and successful denizen of Loch Nwar’s nobility (!)

Loot:

Thundercross the Mace (see notes)
Rings of Pontifus – one is a token of Law (cross), the other is a class ring from Loch Nwar prepatory, class of 3587 – each worth 100gp

XP:
15

Luck: 1 for all Chaotic characters

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